A day to simply read. This feels so indulgent. I finished my book, By the Time You Read This, I'll be Dead by Julie Anne Peters. It was intriguing. Sad, very sad. I was bullied in school so the book was touching in that way. I have also had body issues most of my life, so the book spoke to me on that level as well. The book is about bullycide, being bullied to the point of suicide. I couldn't put the book down and now I am in that after reading glow. It was a great book a very honest look into the mind of a person who has been pushed too far.
Bullied horrifically because she was overweight Daelyn feels as if she has no other alternative. She attempts suicide. There is a name for that phenomenon, it is called bullycide. Daelyn doesn’t call them suicide attempts she calls them failures. She has finally gained a fraction of her parents trust and they give her a computer, complete with all the latest spyware so they know exactly what she is doing online. Daelyn finds a private website to aid completers, people who are successful in suicide. This story is about her journey on this website. The steps she takes to clear out her life and end it. Daelyn prepares for everything as she takes her journey, everything expect for people befriending her. Daelyn has never had friends and suddenly on her end journey there are two influential characters who befriend her even though Dealyn tries her hardest to avoid the friendship. This story is her journey.
I truly enjoyed the story. It is a story of hope. As a parent it was a difficult story to read. Daelyn’s parents love her, want the best for her, rearrange their lives over and over again for her. Yet, she doesn’t see or feel their love. Parents do all they can for their children and in some cases it is never enough. Daelyn was horribly bullied and even attacked while in school. She was never truthful with her mother how extensive the bullying or even the attack was. Her parents could do nothing to help her without full knowledge of what was going on. The bullying got so severe Daelyn tries to kill herself multiple times. I felt terrible for her helpless parents.
The part of the story that I had an issue with. The part that hurt. Was that Santana and Emily befriend Daelyn. I understand the crucial role they play in the story. The characters are necessary for the story to end the way it does. Throughout the story we find that Daelyn was obese, not just overweight, but obese. Her mother makes her try every fad out there to lose weight, her parents even send her to fat camp. It isn’t until the failed suicide attempts that she loses weight. Now she is just a “freak” with a neck brace who can’t speak because she damaged her throat in her most recent suicide attempt. So now that she is not obese she has a love interest and a friend. That one little detail makes me sad. Yet, there is truth in that detail. Women are taught that their bodies are objects to be admired and who admires a fat body. This book just perpetrates that stereotype people would rather love a skinnier freak than an overweight normal girl. It is sad, but it is the truth that women grow up knowing.
I really enjoyed your post. I have been overweight and obese my entire life. I was always a chubby child and just grew up that way. I was lucky though that I did not have the experience of being bullied. However I have a lot of self-confidence that built me up above snickers or stares. I too connected with this book for that reason. I agree with your statement about not having a friend or love interest until she lost the weight. My sister in law went through the same thing. She gained some weight when she lost her dad. She recently lost the majority of that weight and boys have been lining up at the door. I guess one question I would have for you about this book is do you think that her parents provided her with a lot of self-confidence boosters? Her mom seems to want to really help her, but do you think that having her try every fad diet or fat camp helped or hurt Daelyn more? Should she have tried a different method?
ReplyDeleteI was bullied a lot in elementary and middle school. I was not overweight, and I don't believe I was horribly ugly. However, I was a "nerd" a "smartypants" a "goody-two-shoes". I spent more time with books than I did people because the books didn't hurt me. They didn't taunt me or tease me. They didn't make me feel like I should be ashamed of who I was or what I was capable of. I was ostracized for being intelligent for a better portion of my education. By high school, I developed a coping mechanism: don't try. Look stupid, act stupid. It worked for the most part. My current boyfriend once found test papers of mine after I had graduated high school. He asked me what was wrong with me. I pretended not to know what he was talking about, but I knew he had found out my secret. He thought I was an idiot, but those papers told him something entirely different. Our relationship changed after that, and we had intellectual conversations that I would have otherwise missed out on. I'm glad he discovered my secret, and I am glad that I am away from the people who made me feel crappy for being "smart".
ReplyDeleteJeanna, your post was very well written and enjoyable like Taylor said, to read. I loved how you mentioned it is a story hope. I initially did not see it this way but I liked your approach to it. I also did not think about how much her parents had sacrificed to accommodate to Daelyn and her continued struggles. Like you said they wanted to give her a fresh start, yet she still had a wall around her heart. That was indeed a sad unraveling of details. I didn't put as much thought into how she found Emily and Santana after she had lost weight. I looked at it as she had just moved there and how she was at this point is all they knew of her. I believe she found them because she started to open up in her own way. However, yes that does happen each day. That's why we must be good to ourselves and our being and intentionally speak life into our bodies. The world is a cruel place at times. We have to be our own heroes. :)
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